My rant on the well

So, I'm just really angry in this moment. I'm angry about the fact that my mom wants me spend time with her and my sisters but whenever I try they just tell me to shutup and go away. I'm angry about all the stupid television shows. That mock God, mock faith, mock any kind of good spiritual thing, endorse evil and fill my mind with CRAP! My heart is broken. I long for the kingdom of God to come. I want to make a difference in the area of media. It's my heart's cry. I just have no idea how. I feel so helpless. So completely helpless.

It doesn't help that my best friend left for China today. She's gone for 6 weeks. Sure it'll fly, sure I have other friends, but really she's one of the few that has stuck with me, regardless of the fact that she went to Bible School and I didn't. Sure she'll be back and I'll write her emails and pray for her, but I'll miss her. And if you tell me to stop complaining, you can go jump in a lake or maybe the North Saskatchewan, because I'm not complaining, I'm ranting and I'm allowed.

As angry as I may be, I'm excited. I feel all this spiritual attack coming against me and it encourages me. Y'know, that must mean God's doing a great work in me and Satan really must hate it. I'm so stiff and in pain right now, and my knee may have a torn ligament. That's okay, because Holy Spirit's moving in my life. I'm becoming more receptive, opening myself up more to what he has to say. It's exciting.

Oh I'm totally reading in Job and this man's faith was unbelievable. He lost it all, and yet he still would not sin by charging God with wrongdoing. Wow.

Hmm. I was reading in this book, "The Secret Place" by Dale Fife. God spoke to him about His Well of Presence.
In it he was talking about a vision he had.
Basically it was a well with plants growing around it and bushes and just growth.
The growth was the result of disobedience. People who tasted the Revelation and nurtured it but then used it for personal gain. These people experienced a taste of God. Saw miracles signs and wonders and saw healings, but they eventually stopped drinking of the well and became planted beside the well. The plants have a "measure of life" in them but they stop the people of God from experiencing true intimacy. He goes on to say how many come to the well but not for the water. Rather they come for the vegetation and fruit that's around it. "They have tasted My truth from the lives of others, but have never learned to drink from the well themselves. They have a measure of understanding, but many times it is polluted because of the selfish motives of those who would market My revelation for personal gain. Instead of pointing people to the well of My presence, they draw attention to the revelation that they have received and make themselves the source of truth. Whenever this happens, My hear is grieved."

I'm fascinated by the story of the 10 virgins in Matthew 25 1:13.
5 foolish unready ones and 5 wise eager to be there ones. I find it interesting how they wouldn't share their oil. It was theirs. The told the foolish girls to go out and get their own. Drink from the well? Hmm. But it was much too late. While they were out getting "oil", the bridegroom came and took those who were ready and waiting and had their "oil" and had it when they went out to meet the bridegroom. They were serious. They knew it might take some time for the bridegroom to arrive. They knew that they couldn't just wait on what they had for a few moments. They knew that they couldn't live off someone else's revelation. They brought their own.
We need to learn how to drink from the well for ourselves. Stop living off everyone else's revelations. Their motives may not be right. It might be tainted. We need to just get it ourselves.


Now the only question is...how?